Sunday, November 06, 2005

Through a Glass, Darkly

Warning, Rant(s) Ahead

These are some random comments to augment the wedding story I told last week. (No, I didn't get the film developed yet. Why?)

Acolytes/altar servers are an accepted part of most Christian religious services (they may well be in non-Christian services as well, but I have no experience to rave about that).

At weddings, the acolytes are often a family member who is too distant, too young, or too something to be a groomsman or bridesmaid, and too old to bear the rings or girl the flowers. Acolytes are the ones who light the candles long before the wedding party's entrance, then go sit somewhere in the general area of the front-of-the-church where they can observe the comings of the congregation.

Acolytes should be reminded of the following things:

You are not sitting behind a 2-way mirror. All those people that you can see can also see you!

Gum should be chewed discretely or (preferrably) not at all. Blowing bubbles is out of the question.

Female acolytes should keep their knees together, even if they are wearing a cassock or alb. Leg crossing is probably not a good idea for male or female acolytes.

Acolytes wearing slip-on shoes should not slip them off.

If it's not too much trouble, run a comb or brush through your hair!

And please (this is the really big one), don't pick your nose!

Speaking of 2-way mirrors and nose pickers (we were, weren't we?) people driving in their cars should also be aware that we on the outside can see what's on the inside. Please, oh, please, don't pick and drive!

That is all. For now.
Great post. I just saw a guy mining for gold a few minutes ago, on my way home from the grocery store.
You really do think that you're along when you're in your car. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't talk back to the radio like I do.
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